Things one should never say

Man….I was in a such good mood Tuesday morning. The bambino was being super-cheerful, we got out the door at a decent time, I got to work and everything was going fine. Then I had a coworker ask if I was expecting. And for the record, I’m not. It sent me into a tearful, downward spiral almost immediately. The fact that my response (“Nope, I’m just fat.”) didn’t even phase this person made it that much worse.

WHY?! It’s an unwritten rule everywhere that unless it’s blatantly obvious, that a woman looks like she’s about to drop any minute now, or you’re privy to insider knowledge, YOU DO NOT ASK A WOMAN IF SHE’S PREGNANT!!!! You just don’t.

It hurt too, because I know I look bad. I’m fat. I said it. I am. I’m 5’2″ and I weigh over 160 lbs. Going by BMI, I’m borderline obese, if not technically obese. I appreciate that I have a husband who can look past things like my weight and love me anyway, but the truth is, I have a gut that apparently looks as though it’s housing a fetus. I have a chin that’s slowly being overtaken by my neck, and my face is round enough I also have the potential for jowls. I’m fabulous, let me tell you. It’s not that I don’t expect people not to notice…I see it everyday in the mirror. I know it’s there. And I wonder how I look to other people.

And the other thing is, for one, comments like that do not make me want to mow through a bag of salad or a plateful of veggies, then go hop on the treadmill for 2 hours. No, I wanted nothing more than to work my way through a bag of Cheetos, followed by a bag of Reese’s miniatures. And a bottle of wine.

It’s not that I don’t know what to do. I really don’t think my diet is all that bad. I do need more veggies, but I figure I make up for it by eating a bunch of fruit. Fruit and I are friends. Veggies and I, not so much. But most of what I cook any more is homemade (most of, not everything), and we’ve stopped eating fast food for the most part (which is not to say that I wouldn’t down a Bacon Cheddar Butter Burger with some crinkle cuts in a heartbeat!). No, I don’t exercise as I should. It’s a vicious circle. I’m tired from all the extra weight I’m carrying, plus life in general, but I’m also at the point where exercise wears me out. And frankly, I’ve just been lazy. I know it. Do I need to sit at my computer for 45 minutes each morning? Probably not. I should be sleeping (I don’t get nearly enough–Another reason I’m tired all the time), or at the very least, working out.

And why I don’t just do this, and get myself back in shape, I don’t know. I can’t even blame it on baby weight–I got within 5-10 lbs. of my pregnancy weight shortly after I had the bambino…No, this is sheer laziness and sloth on my part. But I’ve got some mental roadblock that’s holding me back…Or some lazy roadblock (“work is hard, so I quit.”)…I don’t know. But seeing as yesterday marks the third time I’ve been asked if I’m pregnant, I think I need to just get over myself and get to work. Y’know, ’cause if I just started intuitively eating real food and just moved more, the weight would magically come off!

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11 Replies to “Things one should never say”

  1. I hear ya, sista friend! I need to lose about 45 pounds, but I just can’t seem to find the time between taking care of my family, home, etc. I had a gym membership for a while, but I couldn’t work out a good time for me to go since my hubbie is in school (the gym I joined didn’t have a daycare). I tried to go when the boys were napping and hubbie would be studying. But invariably, like clockwork, the boys would wake up just as I left, then hubbie would be in a foul mood because he couldn’t get his school work done. So I gave up on that frustration and decided I’d just drop the gym membership. When I feel tired and run down, I know that I’m almost always needing a B complex vitamin. It’s like that vitamin gives me the “oomph” to get going, and it breaks the “tired, run down, so I don’t exercise, which makes me feel worse” cycle. I take a B-50 complex, and it seems to get me going again. I still haven’t lost any weight, but I don’t feel like a complete slug anymore.

    • The reason I get up at 5 most mornings used to be for working out–It’s really the only time that I have all to myself during the day. When I can get myself out of bed and dressed, I do fine. I don’t think I’ve hopped on my elliptical in almost a year now. Not good! A friend of mine suggests on occasion that I take a B complex…Maybe I should look into it!

  2. Are you kidding me right now? Seriously. Slug her! OMG… is this person not your friend? I am sorry that happened and I too am 5.2, I weigh about 138 and I have to go visit friends and family in Oregon this weekend who have not seen me at this weight! OMG…. My mom saw me last November and she said, IN FRONT OF ME, to my friend… “I knew she had gained, I just didn’t realize how bad!” I was like… REALLY? I didn’t think 140 was that bad!!!
    What Ev, start making better choices and move forward honey! I am here wit ya!

    • No, this person isn’t a friend, just a coworker. Even still, words hurt, people! I would give my right arm to bed 138 again! I haven’t been that since I got married! But yeah, I can’t let this go any longer.

      • I have co-workers I cannot stand. I actually desmise one.. isn’t that a horrible thing to admit? I see her coming and I go the other way. Her voice, her laugh, every thing about her gags me. Maybe that is what you should do with “gotsnobrains” is when you see her coming, try to go the other way. Or lose as much as you can and then ask her…. “R U PG?” Nah, she jsut clueless and has no manners.

        • Yeah, this one has no filters whatsoever. I’m not the only one who’s suffered thoughtless remarks from this person, but still. I guess I should be grateful she didn’t try to pat my stomach or anything like that!

  3. I commend you for not slapping the sh!t out of that a$$h@t right there on the spot. For crying out loud, I *AM* 6 months pregnant (and at least as far from my “ideal” weight as you are) and a few days ago, 2 different people feigned surprise to say “Oh, you’re expecting?” (Duh.) Because if people can’t be “Minnesota nice” like you’re supposed to be here, we’ve lost most of what’s good about living out here on the tundra! Grrrr!!!

  4. Unbelievable. I saw you today and you look fabulous. And, most importantly, you are a fantastic person. Miss you!