“But I’m quite sure that you’ll tell me just how I should feel today…”

I do realize this is not Monday, but the song is appropriate for how I’m feeling. And not that I don’t love New Order, but I like the Orgy version of this song because it’s edgier and angrier (in my opinion).

As usual, there are things simmering behind the scenes that I’m unable to talk about on the blog which really sucks. And I know it’s annoying that I bring them up then say, “Oh, but I can’t tell you about it,” but I feel out-of-sorts, and a combination of floundering/hopeless/angry & raging, and all-around despair. And quite frankly, it’s dragging me down. A lot. Jay and the bambino are more excited about my upcoming birthday than I am (OMG, it’s November! Less than two weeks until the celebration of my birth 36 years ago! Maybe I’ll have my mom do a guest post about the 4 days she was in labor with me. I’m sure everyone and their dog wants to hear about that). But there are a few things that are making me feel like I’ve been kicked around, slapped in the face and had the rug pulled out from under me. And I don’t like it at all. There’s a lot of rage bubbling beneath the surface that I wish would disappear.

I’ve had a couple things on the agenda the past two nights that have prevented me from cooking. Monday night, I volunteered at the Harvest Table, and because of Halloween and taking the bambino trick or treating, I got myself a Happy Meal when my shift was done. The toy was lame (something from that new Puss in Boots cartoon that’s coming out)–I like it better when I get superhero or Star Wars stuff for the bambino. Tuesday evening, we picked up dinner from the Backyard Grill, because I had a Pampered Chef party to attend, and I figured that I’d go sooner rather than later (Tuesday’s my “Biggest Loser” night after all!). Cooking something wasn’t really an option.

This morning I started off with some Bob’s Red Mill 5 Grain Rolled Cereal. Jay and I thought we’d give it a try. It’s like oatmeal, but with different “oats.” I really kind of like the rolled barley. I was afraid it might taste really “wheat germy,” or something, but it’s not bad. The only thing I think I’d change is the cooking directions–It calls for 2 1/2 C water for 1 C cereal to make two servings. The cereal’s still a little watery even after cooking for 15 minutes. I think if I make it tomorrow, I’m going to cut back to 2 C water and see how that works. But with a little half & half and some brown sugar, it’s not bad at all!

I had a lunch meeting at The Pheasant today. That was a nice change of pace, even with all the eating out I’ve done as of late.

French dip. When I was in high school, my friend Michelle (with whom I’ve lost touch now) and I would spend Friday evenings at TGI Friday’s, and we’d get basically the same thing every week…We’d split an order of potato skins, and each get French dip sandwiches. Then we’d head off to the mall or to a movie or (once she got her license) go driving around.

Ever since then, I’ve had a soft spot for French dip sandwiches.

I had no idea what I was going to do for dinner…Not being home has meant not thawing or prepping anything, and that’s never a good thing. Saturday’s party meant a deli pizza. Sunday’s allergy attack meant George’s. And I’ve already explained about last night and Monday. Rather than popping out to the store, and because I bought them for the bambino (or maybe Jay did–I really don’t remember), I decided this would be an okay night for hot dogs and some French fries. Healthy? No. Convenience food and slightly better than eating out (again)? Yes.

Because I didn’t eat enough starchy potatoes at lunch time. I capped off my meal with the last Drumstick in the house:

I really love the chunk of chocolate at the bottom of Drumsticks. I think that’s my favorite part (well, it’s probably everyone’s favorite part). I’ve still got a few cupcakes left that I might go stuff in my craw!

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8 Replies to ““But I’m quite sure that you’ll tell me just how I should feel today…””

  1. PS, did you check out IGE… I swear, and I mentioned there.. those guys are media whores! lol…. I was a bit nicer, not much – but a bit nicer about it! ;-)

  2. Pingback: “You only wanna do what you think is right…” | Tramplingrose

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